The wind howls outside, wildly blowing the snow back to the north, whence it came. It plays to my mood this Christmas Day. Over the last few years, the Lord has seen fit to lead Kristina and I ever more deeply into a hand-to-mouth existence. It's a lifestyle I thought I left behind when I moved back to the Ozarks from Oregon. This poverty of circumstance — as it did when I lived in Portland — accompanies a season of personal, spiritual and emotional growth.
Yet as hard as times are, I know the Savior was born into far bleaker circumstances than those in which Kristina and I now find ourselves. He was brought screaming, naked and cold into an awkward social standing and a political maelstrom that literally threatened His life. In context, the story reminds me that my Father's promises don't include comfort, wealth, or the kind of stability I sometimes crave. It's a reminder I often need, if one is to judge by the frequency with which I hear it. "I'll say it again — it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!"
So He has laid waste to my life again, because that's what it takes to get my attention. I'm disgusted by the conspicuously-displayed wealth of my brethren, yet am chastened for my ugly jealousy. I'm broken by my inability to provide gifts for my beloved wife and beautiful daughter, yet the generosity our families continue to shower on us brings me to tears. Just when Kristina and I think we can't take any more, Christmas comes along to tell us that not only did the Son survive far worse, but that He has provided the escape route from our spiritual poverty. Christmas, then, turns my eyes all the more urgently to Easter. The two are inseparable. They must be so, for without one, the other is meaningless.
That may not seem terribly joyous or hopeful, but indeed, "the people who sat in darkness have seen a great light. And for those who lived in the land where death casts its shadow, a light has shined."
Come, Lord Jesus. May Your children all be so fortunate as we have been this Christmas season.
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Beautiful. We're totally there too and learning to accept the Peace that passes understanding in the midst of severe economic stress. It's really only when looking outward at others and focusing on material things that we ever really start to feel bad...that and those insidious inner thoughts of what "providing for" means. Does it really mean every toy on the list? Or does it mean a great deal less? Garen and I did not get each other Christmas gifts and while I was feeling pretty pitiful about it Christmas Even morning, once I shook off the pity party, I've been able to really enjoy the family time we've had with the kids. And, I chose to put more of our budget towards a completely overdone baking extravaganza so that I'd have allergy-safe treats, so that in itself is a gift for me (everyone else too, as I'm not grouchy or sick, plus they get to eat the treats) :D Just the fact that we can pack the pantry is a blessing, in addition to all the others we have, like healthy and smart kids, a new car that runs great and is easy on the gas mileage, a job for Garen, a warm home, and all our usual freedoms and liberties as US citizens.
ReplyDeleteLove & Blessings to you and Teena and Aylin this Christmas!
Beautifuly spoken. Always remember to embrace the rough patches, as best you can. You would never know just how much to appreciate the sunshine if there was never any rain. Perseverance has a purpose...don't ever lose sight of that.
ReplyDeleteJames 1:12 "Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him."